Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy BirthMOTHERS Day

I found this poem that a Birth Mother wrote about her adoption experience; What a great example of Gods Grace. To my MOM and all you MOM's out there....

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!




As I meditate on what this day means to me, birthMOTHERS Day; there are so many things I would like to share, but it's hard to find the right words to say.

Sometimes I run or hide from these feelings because they are so strong;">yet inside my heart emotions are constantly singing as a bird's soothing song.

I must tell of this journey into birth motherhood; about the sadness, the sweetness, the bad and the good.

I must trust that my voice will carry along; to another birthmother in need of this song.

I could speak of the heart wrenching time during early pregnancy; when I could barely see straight from the pain and agony.

I was in definite denial; but I was being prepared for a life-changing trial. I felt so confused and angry; that I had allowed this circumstance to happen to me.

There was no way to know at that point in time; how God would turn this into something divine. This decision making process was not an easy one; yet hope shined on even throughout this rainy time as certain as the soft warm sun.

God was using me as a way to carry a child into the world and bring forth life;but if I chose to parent him it would be one filled with anger and strife.

I never once thought that I could raise this child because I, myself was not equipped to; so now it was up to me -what would I do??

I really had to search myself and find support,although my world was spinning; I had to realize that another precious life was just beginning. Maybe for some the choice to place a baby is filled with regret; yet I knew that he deserved way more than if he stayed with me what he would get.

To you I say, "The details of where my life was headed at that time might not be the issue; yet I trusted that another family could love you and offer you that which I could not give you.

My baby, birth child, you deserved the family, love, devotion, time, patience, energy, consistency, opportunity; trustworthiness, connection and stability that -at that time- with me were not a possibility.

Some have asked me if I ever regret this choice;and I will always continue to use my voice. The answer is no I most definitely do not; though it is normal to wonder at times where would we be if my choice was naught.

I cannot burden my heart with these types of worry, doubt and grief; I need to make room inside of me for the love I have for this child, the joy and the relief.

I feel such peace within my heart; knowing we will never truly be apart.

Trusting in God's plan and in the universe to provide; my baby's family is raising him with love, honesty and pride.

I'm blessed to know that he is okay; and I would like to share this experience that I have been through with others today.

In honor of Mothers no matter what your situation,

I would like to say;that I wish you a truly blessed, fulfilling, and peaceful BirthMothers Day!

1 comment:

  1. You are always so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you for your prayers.

    ReplyDelete