Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How I would define a Birthmom

A Birthmom is a young teen or an adult woman that finds herself pregnant when it was not planned and having to soon face one of the hardest decisions she will ever have to make in her life...keep your baby, or place it for adoption.

Birthmothers are not all the same. They come from all walks of life; different ages, ethnicity's, religious backgrounds and financial status's. Some have families that love them, some that don't and some that just don't exist at all. They are intelligent, they are troubled. They are strong and independent, they are lost and frightened. They are angry and elated, confused and informed. There is no simple box or specific category for which to place these women. Each approaching the crossroads of adoption from a different path, each creating a new path with each defining decision they make.

For these girls the decision to abort, parent or make an adoption plan for their child will forever change the path of their lives as well as their child's.

I posted this back in November - but I wanted to post it again. Whether the path of domestic or internationally adoption is chosen, the one common denominator is the birth mother.

To all birth mothers across the US and around the world; thank you for making one of the hardest decisions in your life. Thank you for choosing life. Thank you for carrying a child for nine months, going through the pain of labor, holding the child in your arms and loving the child so much that you did the most unselfish thing you could do. You game this child a chance to live, you gave this child a mommy and daddy, you gave this child hope.

The video below is a song by Mark Schultz who was given up for adoption. It is his tribute to his birth mother and birth mothers around the world.

Thank you for everything

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

DTC on Friday

Yep that is right! DTC (Date to China) after let's see...a little over eight months. We have completed all the necessary paperwork to proceed with our journey to China for a little one!

3lbs of paperwork was shipped off on Monday (the big list down the right side of our blog) Our agency will overnight to China on Friday.

The next step for China is a LID (Log in Date). This date determines the order for which families will receive a referral. To give you an idea, In April, China will be referring families that have a LID of 03/07/06 (and hopefully a couple more days). The time frame for a referral is now 36-38 months.

Dave and I are as excited today, as we were a little over eight months ago...

We are celebrating this weekend by going to the beach - Yippeee!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dates to Celebrate

Looking for help from our China adoption friends here. What are your favorite adoption dates (like date to china, log-in date, gotcha day) and in what special way have you celebrated them?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What about "Open" adoption?

I have been focusing on making good use of my time while we wait for our little Shania. I have been diving back into my jewelry making (more to come soon...no really!) but more importantly we have been reading and educating ourselves on open adoption, birthmothers and the adoptive child.

As we learn and grow we thought that it would be good to share. Not unlike Dave and I, most of you have never experienced adoption much less...an open adoption. And not unlike Dave and I, you may have fears, questions and misconceptions about these very subjects. Hopefully by sharing what we learned - You can begin to see why Dave and I have opened our hearts to open adoption.

Today most domestic adoptions are open. An open adoption involves a face-to-face meeting between the birth and prospective adoptive parents prior to placement; an exchange of identifying information; and a commitment on both sides to continue the relationship. The degree of openness in a open adoption varies greatly from family to family. Typically there is a once or twice a year visit with some other form of communication such as email or phone calls in between.

In an open adoption, the birth parents' legal rights of guardianship are terminated, and the adoptive parents become the legal parents.

The result is an adoption experience that is more positive and healthier for all parties. There is openness, honesty and communication - all important keys to any great relationship but most importantly, a healthy, secure child.

Dave and I are sincerely looking forward to the day when we can begin a relationship with our birthmother.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Back to the Consulate - hopefully for the last time

Its a long story so I will not bore you with the details. Something to do with a new Secretary of State and a signature but anyways...Our last 2 documents are headed back to the Secretary of State for final Authentication. We will then have all our paperwork ready to go to China!

No word on the Domestic front. Dave and I are relishing each and every moment of "alone" time we have together. We know and hope that once day soon that will ALL CHANGE.